i.
in seventh grade I learned to pray
in Spanish is rezar
edged like razor,
work & worship,
I learned adoption
was life’s sword:
maldición//malediction,
bendición//benediction,
doubled & edged beatitude
I should give thanks, I learned—
ii.
she left her blood
woven throughout. her curse,
benison, her hope, imprecation,
I learned
in high school, Latin cursus:
track, trajectory
swooping back. pendulum
defixio. to fix her, defix her;
to defix her, fix her. gladius,
sword of God, I raise
my voice, recite this oration//erasure,
as taught, to give
praise: gladiolus flower bowing
crimson in the pews. I learned
iii.
head bowed, do the work,
the worship: gladius dei. mater dei. kneel before
my saviors; savor gratitude. I learned
what words are twinned:
alma, soul; ala, wing. why cracking
open language never made for you
cleaves, gladius meus,
mater mea: pray, mother,
that you are not made-bad
making bad, not the bad-doer
doing bad works, that your
progeny can narrate, orate,
explain away the curse
with which you leveled
her: swoop of sword, swoop of wing.
ala, alma. ala, 엄마, I learned
iv.
magnificat anima mea Dominum,
exultavit spiritus meus in Deo
salutari meo, quia respexit humilitatem
ancillae suae; beatam me dicent omnes.
the swoop of these words,
her same-sided wings,
the rezar of my life,
it cut