Nirvana, an End to Suffering: Dear Damage: Essays by Ashley Marie Farmer

Barrett Bowlin
| Reviews

 

These transcripts reveal an intimacy that would have left the collection somewhat longing without them. Farmer is careful to leave in those moments where Bill and Frances’ words slip over each other, where they interrupt and pick up the other’s sentences, familiar as two people could ever be in this world. In this way, we don’t have to rely on Farmer alone for an idea of what it’s like to love someone so wonderfully that you would kill them if they asked. Instead, we hear what this bond is like from the source, from transcripts like the one Farmer has titled “Matrimony”:

Frances Dresser: Do you know how long we’ve been married? Ashley Farmer: How long?

FD: Sixty-two years.

Bill Dresser: Sixty-THREE years. [...]

AF: You know each other pretty well by now.

BD: Pretty much.

FD: Pretty damn well. But not everything! AF: Not everything. That’s good.

BD: She’s still got secrets?

FD: You know me—old blabbermouth. Geez, it blows me away to say we’ve been married sixty-three years. Never regretted it. Maybe once or twice. [laughs]

If we’re similarly tempted to think of Dear Damage as an album, then, as a collection of A-sides and B-sides and outtakes that will let us in on the secrets of a tragedy—as Kurt Cobain’s fans did, searching for answers even in previously unreleased tracks— or as an explanation, after the fact, as to how what happened to Bill and Frances Dresser could ever happen, let us not look at it forensically.
Open it up, Farmer seems to implore us, set the needle to play, and listen. Just listen.

 

Barrett Bowlin is the author of the story collection Ghosts Caught on Film (Bridge Eight Press). His essays and stories appear in Ninth Letter, Salt Hill, The Rumpus, Waxwing, Bayou, and War, Literature, and the Arts. He lives and teaches and rides trains in Massachusetts.

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